Head above water…


Finally, it’s happened. I have a new job!

It’s my first NOT ‘working from home’ job in nearly 6 year. It’s exciting. My mind is racing at 100 miles an hour with ideas and plan and projects… and worries. Can I cut the mustard? Do I really understand this stuff that is sprouting out of my mouth?

I think I do. We’ll see.

The future looks bright and it includes organic farming, self-sufficiency, bio-dynamics and a better place for all our kids.

There are websites to build, photos to take, videos to make, people to be trained, blogs to write, animals to be looked after. IThere are chickens, fish, geese, goats, dogs, cows and more. There’s administration, certification and education. And that’s only the half of it. It’s a dream job. There’s so much to learn and so much to do. So if you see me in the distance, cross your fingers and hope that I’m waving, not drowning! Wish me luck!


Putting it Off

There are some vital tasks I should be doing today. Things that will ease my mind and get me in the mood for packing and moving. They are tasks that will help me move forward. I should be cleaning my house (there may also be visitors later so this is a priority), updating my resume and applying for jobs, sorting things to pack.

Instead I have managed to sort through a drawer of old photos and thrown nothing out; dance badly with the kids; lip sync The Angels with my son; clean out an old handbag (found a cheque for $30!!) and now I’ve started sorting out my iTunes library. Now I’m writing this. I’m sitting in neutral.

I see no light at the end of this tunnel.

Why is it always the important things that get put off?  Why is the pile of “I’ll do this later stuff” always bigger than the pile of things that have been achieved. I’m seeing a life metaphor developing here.

Part of the problem is that the person I see on paper – in my resume – is possibly from another planet. That person was all about change, project and stakeholder management. That person knew how to speak geek and translate it to the suits. That person knew how to motivate and lead a team and practice participative management. WTF? Where did that person go?

That person is sorting out her songs, looking at old photos, reading ancient birthday cards, tagging her photo library, wrangling kids and buying lotto tickets. That person is wishing for a miracle that isn’t going to happen.

That person knows that if you put things off, nothing will come of it.  That person needs some serious motivation as apparently poverty and boredom are not enough.

Who was that guy in the 90s? The enormous one. The motivational speaker that got everyone up and off their butts. Maybe I need him. Maybe I need to listen to some subliminal tapes as I drift off to sleep.

Maybe I should just pull my finger out. Maybe I need a kick in the arse like the poor guy in the photo. Nothing like a massive rodeo bull to give you shove. Thought train – derailed.